Questionnaire

I'm filling out some school paperwork tonight. There are a lot of questions about Logan's development. It's always hard to fill these out. There are so many questions that we answer no or not applicable to. When it comes to the medications and hospitalizations section I always write...more than we can count and then provide a little bit of elaboration on what he is on medications for and what types of surgeries or hospitalizations he has had.

When questions are asked about when he talked, walked, held toys, etc. my heart breaks. Logan learned to coo and roll over in the first year of his life but after that, these skills were lost. He was able to hold his head up and put some weight on his legs at times as an infant. I have pictures of him in the baby saucer holding his head up and him on his tummy pushing up off his arms with his head up.

Over time, skills he did gain are now gone. Where are we now? Logan still loves to be cuddled. It is my favorite activity with him. I hold him and press my cheek against his and he calms and closes his eyes. He loves to be sung to. He will sit and watch whoever sings as he listens calmly to the music. He loves to watch his sister Lauren (7 years old) play. He cannot participate but when she plays where he can see her and talks to him throughout, he watches on. She reads to him and also plays make believe with him. It melts my heart to see how tender and loving she is with him. She truly shows unconditional love despite the jealousy that occurs at times!!

Back to the questionnaire, this is not the first I have ever filled out. I can't tell you how many I have filled out and often the questions are the same. I find I am getting more sarcastic in my answers with each questionnaire. I don't mean to. I think it is a form of coping with the reality we are faced with. We have a son that requires help with all daily cares. He cannot move himself, he cannot tells us what he needs, and cannot tell us what is bothering him. He can't say, "I hate this movie, why do you always put it on for me"! I really hope we aren't torturing him. We work really hard to watch his non verbal behaviors to figure out what he likes or dislikes.

As for the rest of his health, Logan is still doing really well. He still has yet to be hospitalized for an illness in three years. We are able to keep him home and weather the storm here. I still knock on wood regularly as we are so lucky to have a great staff of nurses to help manage every illness that comes Logan's way.

We saw the seizure specialist this week. We are continuing to increase his seizure medications as we have done for many months. There is still room to increase the doses based on his weight but we must watch his lab work closely to ensure there are no detrimental effects and also watch for side effects. If these most recent dose increases don't work, we have two more options of medications. Logan continues to have at least six tonic clonic, otherwise known as grand mal seizures per day. He also has many other small seizures that are less prominent and debilitating but still concerning. We still continue to work to eliminate seizures but always know that this may be a battle we chase and don't completely win. If anything, we just want them to lessen and remain short. That way Logan experiences less distress and comfort. If we can eliminate them, I would probably stand from the roof tops and sing!!!

Medical marijuana is not an option at this time. It is legalized for epilepsy in Minnesota and we would be able to have Logan certified to receive it but unfortunately the cost is just too high. We spend a large sum of money per month paying a parental fee for his medical assistance in addition to the monthly fee that comes out of my check for private insurance. The cost of medical marijuana is just too far out of reach for our budget. It is not proven that this option would work, but it would be nice if it was affordable enough for us to try it!

So for now, we continue to support Logan's comfort. He goes to preschool as much as possible. We do the best we can getting him out and about to activities. We are excited for breakfast with Santa! We are working on getting approval from our county to have some remodeling done to his room and bathroom to assist in accommodating his increasing weight! He is 52lbs and its not getting any easier to lift him these days. We are coming up on Thanksgiving and I almost feel ashamed to complain as much as I have in this post.

I am truly thankful for so many things in my life. I am healthy after recent gallbladder removal. My children are well cared for and otherwise healthy. They are thriving and teaching me new things constantly. They make me a better mother every day by teaching me patience, unconditional love, and gratitude. My career is going very well and I feel very fulfilled in what I do outside of the home so many days of the week. My husband has a great job and comes home excited to talk about the great day he had. He supports me in all I do and listens to my rants. He does a much better job than I do at keeping the house in order, disciplining and teaching our 7 year old, and keeping our family fed. This Thanksgiving holiday will be spent with friends and family enjoying all we have to be thankful for. And for Logan, we will continue to cherish each and every moment and do everything in our power to keep him comfortable and thriving. This, we are so thankful for each and every day!

Happiness

Hello!!!!

What a great summer it has been. We are very fortunate for the wonderful summer Minnesota has given us! Logan has spent some quality time outdoors! I always wish for more but Mosquitos can be a hindrance. They really love to bite his face. Last week he had a bite under his eye and on his forehead. No big deal but he can't itch them! We are so thankful for Benadryl cream!

Well I have fun things to report and I know this is rare. Most of the time it is a depressing doctors appointment or change in symptoms. Not this time!

Last week we had some great Logan moments. I came home from work one evening and he was in bed. I went in and gave him a hug. It isn't your usual hug. I have to take his arm and wrap it around my neck. But once I do he relaxes, closes his eyes and slows his breathing. All is right with the world in those moments. 

So that is what I did and then I sat with him trying to relax him for bedtime. Lately he has been a night owl because of his medication regimen . Nine pm is prime awake time! So I was in his room, did the hug/cuddle routine and said goodnight. As I pulled my arm away to leave the room he opened one eye and looked at me. I knew he was scoping me out hoping I would stay to cuddle longer. So I did and this happened about three more times until I figured him out. Finally I didn't say good night but slipped away and he stayed sound asleep!

My heart melted knowing he was aware of me being there. I felt so significant to him in that moment. It can be hard to find those connections with him at times. 

Tonight is a good example. I came home from work and went straight to him to say hello. No matter what I did he just wanted to watch toy story. I have to chalk that up to being a four year old almost five year old. He isn't always going to want to be involved with me and I have to be ok with that.

Oh what a mommy bummer!!!!

Otherwise life is pretty good. His seizure status really hasn't improved. He has had a couple of big seizures in his wheelchair in the past week which is abnormal. We pray for control of them soon. He is staying healthy, knock on wood. The plan is to put him back in school but to hold him back in the class he was in last year. Three days a week with his same amazing teacher seems much more do able than a longer day with a new set up. I wish it was different but we need to understand his stamina is not what it used to be. I love spending this time of year getting him and Lauren ready for school.

She is beyond ready to start first grade. She is chomping at the bit to see her friends and be given a challenge. I have been so extremely proud of her with Logan. The other night it was me, her, and Logan. We didn't have a nurse. She jumped in and suctioned him a handful of times. 

I never ask her to help with his cares. I don't want her to feel obligated. She was so sweet to jump in and help and when it was time for bed, she asked if they could have a sleepover in his bed. My heart melted again! I'm so grateful for them both. I'm the luckiest mom ever! 

New neurologist

Today Logan saw a new neurologist at the request of his current neurologist. He sent us there for a second opinion regarding Logan's seizures. We started the day with an EEG (test that monitors brain activity). Of course Logan didn't have any seizures during that time. Go figure! It still showed abnormalities that have been noted previously and this neurologist basically said, he has an irritable brain. 

We spent a good amount of time with the doctor and his nurse. It cracked me up when she walked in with a thick stack of medical records for Logan. We joked about how much time it took them to read it all! I have to say though, I was so impressed when the doctor started talking with us, it felt as though he knew all about Logan before meeting him. It meant a lot to know they cared enough to do the leg work before our interaction. We didn't have to rehash all of his medical history. 

The goal of this appointment was to see what other options we may have to get Logan's seizures under control. The first plan he made is to increase one of the medications he is already on. We are still at a lower dose and we think this one gave some positive benefit when we started it. If that doesn't work there are many more options. He may recommend we bring Logan in for an overnight stay in the hospital to monitor seizures. He thinks it would help us capture seizures on an EEG and help him better understand what to treat. 

We also have many more medication options and he has a specific one in mind that he may move toward. We also discussed medical cannibus. This is now legal in the state of Minnesota and in the past week became available for people with certain conditions such as epilepsy. I have to say I was embarrassed to ask. It seems like such a controversial topic. We had a great discussion around the option and may go with it in the future. With that being said, we would continue his current regimine of meds and use the medical cannibus as an adjunct. More to come on that topic. 

I left the appointment feeling hopeful that we have a renewed chance at lessening Logan's seizures and giving him a better quality of life. After most of these appointments I feel drained, defeated, and worried. Not today! We don't have a magical fix but we have a team of people that will give us a fighting chance at doing the best for Logan and that feels great! 

Where have we been

Hello again blog world! I've been away for too long. Our busy lives have taken over! 

Some of you who don't follow Logan's "Team Logan" Facebook page have missed out on periodic updates. I find it much easier for short updates and photos. Click this link to take a peak and while you are there, like his page! https://www.facebook.com/teamlogan2013

So what's going on with Logan you may ask...where do I begin? He is now 4 1/2 years old and just about 50lbs. He is a big boy! Must take after his dad. And I say that as Joel is tall 😊.

Logan is in summer preschool for a few weeks. We are also trying to get in a few doctor appointments when we can as Joel and Lauren are home for the summer. Logan has a new swing in the backyard and has enjoyed the moderate summer days for long walks in the neighborhood and trips to the library. We have found a few new shows that he likes to watch and unfortunately one of them is sponge bob. Yuck! I refuse to let him watch it. 

Where are we on the medical front...this will as usual be the bulk of my post. We are unfortunately faced with medical needs on a daily basis. Logan's biggest problem right now are seizures. They are out of control. He has seizures every day up to 30-40 times a day. Most of his seizures are generalized. They last about 30 seconds. When they occur he arches his back and his arms and legs go into a distinct posture and his eyes gaze up and over. He does a little shaking but just mostly the contorted posture. Many times he has a couple back to back and appears uncomfortable. The bad seizures happen a couple times a day. They are called tonic clinic. When people see them for the first time a lot of them cry or tear up. They are pretty upsetting to see but thankfully are short lived. I would video tape one and show it but they are just too upsetting. 

We have Logan on three seizure medications and at pretty decent doses. We have added a medication called clonazepam to help aide in reducing the seizures. This medication is very sedating and makes Logan sleepy and groggy much of the day. Sleep is the time of day when we see the seizures stay at bay. 

We have exhausted his neurologists ideas and have been sent for another opinion with another clinic. We see them in a couple weeks and I hope they have something for us. It is heart wrenching to see what this does to him. I'm worried at some point we won't be able to control the seizures at all. We are curious about medical marijuana as it has been approved in Minnesota. I have heard that only certain doctors will prescribe it and I don't know if anyone will do it for kids. 

Other than seizures Logan continues to remain healthy. We have had to make another decrease of his feedings as he continues to gain weight too quickly! He's a little pork chop!! We had an assessment done today to do some home modifications such as a roll in shower and lift system to get Logan in a bath chair and his wheelchair. Hopefully the county will approve everything and we will be able to move forward with construction this summer. We decided to go with a less is more approach so we won't be doing anything too major. 

Other than all that, we continue to move on with life. We are faced with many challenges related to Logan's medical needs including nurse shortages. It hasn't been easy to fill shifts and Joel and I have been pulling a fair amount of overnight shifts. It doesn't make life easy and some weeks we burn the candle at both ends. We think there is a light at the end of the tunnel🙏. 

It is hard to stay optimistic about Logan's condition when we see decline around every corner. He remains my calm, loving, sweet, and handsome boy but I'm not gonna lie, looking back at photos from the past break my heart as I see where he once was. For now we just do our best to enjoy summer!

Hello Sping and long awaited updates

Hello everyone. I am such a bad blogger! Life gets busy and this seems to be one of the last things I do. I should write more as it is so therapeutic. Life has been good in our home. Logan had a great winter. He stayed pretty healthy and avoided any major infections. We have worked on tweaking some things over the winter. We have adjusted his tube feedings a few times and have been trying to get his seizures under control.

Logan has generalized seizures up to 30 times a day and a couple grand mal seizures a day. We have done many medication adjustments and have recently added a third medication. Hoping this one is the trick. It is so distressing to see him experience seizures all throughout the day.

We have been patiently, at least as patient as I can be, to hear back from our genetics clinic. They sent a request to the National Institutes of Health, Undiagnosed Disease Clinic to look at Logan's case. They sent us a letter a couple of week ago stating they were not going to accept Logan into the program. This sounds harsh, but wait for it...they think a gene mutation that he and I share is the answer to his problems. They not only think that HUWE-1 is the answer for us but gave us the name of a doctor that is researching this gene. From my quick view of her research in medical databases, it looks like it is being studied from a cancer perspective. It will be interesting to see if our genetics team finds more and learns more from her. I am hoping she is able to reach back from their requests and help us out.

With genetic testing these days, there are more and more rare diseases being diagnosed every day. Maybe Logan can be part of the puzzle to a diagnosis for many other people. I know we cannot cure him, but we can help future generations in our family understand the possibility of this being carried through to other generations and at some point in the future, eradicate it. I love my son, but do not wish this upon any other child. Logan is my angel and teacher, but if he was to choose his path, would it have been this one? I don't know and we will never know.

In the meantime we plug on as we always have. We are having a little shortage of home care nursing staff. It seems as though nursing in general is in need across our area. I hear it from our home care company, nurses I know in long term care, and within the hospital community that I work in, that experienced nurses are hard to find. I can't definitively say what the true factors are attributing to the issues but I have my own conclusions. The economy is pretty decent, gas prices aren't too bad, baby boomers are aging, health care is offered to more and more people every day, we have less primary care providers, and our population is growing every day. I'm no expert, but I feel we are at a tipping point in health care. More people are using services and less people are available to provide services. Logan and our family are unfortunately affected by this as we deal with a shortage of nurses in our home. I do admit we are picky but my next few paragraphs may speak to why that is.

We just had an appointment with Logan"s pulmonologist. I truly adore, respect, and appreciate him. Our visits with him fill my cup! I say that as a nurse, health care professional, care provider, and parent. He spends the time ensuring Logan's needs are addressed and addresses the family unit as well. He is so incredibly knowledgeable but beyond that, he is honest and factual. Aside from the developmental pediatrician that told me three years ago "something is wrong with Logan and we are going to figure it out", our pulmonologist has been up front from the beginning.

I will never forget the first visit we had with him. I was on my own with Logan. That was back in the day when I was able to take him out and about in his baby carrier with not a care in the world. At the first visit, he walked in the room (Logan was in my arms) and sat in a chair just inside the door across from us. He sat, watched and listened as Logan breathed. I knew what he was doing and did not feel awkward or put off by it. As a nurse, I understand how easy it is for a doctor to lose the ability to gain a good assessment on a child the minute the child sees them in the room. From that moment forward, our doctor gained my trust.

During that visit, we had a very open and honest dialogue. He told me he was concerned about Logan's respiratory status and was worried that his future would include a tracheotomy. Remember, I was there by myself. It wasn't easy to hear, but I needed to know what the future may hold. As an ER nurse, worst case scenario is how I am trained. At that point, these conversations were becoming somewhat normal. I prepared myself to hear the worst case scenario at each visit with each new specialist.

So now we are back to the present and I am talking with him about advanced directives and code status. Logan has a palliative care team that helps us address this at least every six months. We have yet to make a decision to draft any paperwork to decide on how we would proceed in the event of an emergency or significant medical event. Joel and I have discussed it, but have not moved forward from there.

This is a hard topic as we have always looked at Logan's situation as being respiratory. He has a tracheotomy and requires so much assistance with suctioning and maintaining a clear airway. We have been programmed through training and symptom management to address this first. As a health care provider, airway is always the first area to address. Well, trust me, we have this one down to a tee! We are so good that his pulmonologist was beyond impressed that Logan stayed out of the hospital all winter long. In fact, he didn't even require a visit to the doctors office or urgent care. We were able to rely on our nurses to implement orders quickly and notify his pulmonologist team when further medications were needed to treat respiratory symptoms. Our nurses are truly top notch. They are the reason Logan has such an amazing quality of life and remains so healthy despite all the things going against him. Their team work, communication, and dedication to Logan far exceeds my expectations.

Back to the pulmonologist appointment.... we did discuss Logan's advanced directives and code status and had a frank conversation regarding concerns related to his seizures. Logan has a lot of seizures. He has two kinds of seizures as I stated earlier in the blog. They are short lived and don't seem to cause him too much anguish over a long period of time. Don't get me wrong, they don't look comfortable and I'm sure he is sore and upset afterward, but they last less than 30 seconds a piece which is encouraging.

The one area that I was thrown a curve ball during our pulmonologist appointment was the possibility of seizures being a life threatening event. I have for so long put in my head that the biggest concerns for Logan's long term health would be a respiratory virus/bacteria that would move toward a nasty and worsening case requiring us to make some big decisions. Well, after this visit, seizures have also been brought up as a great concern. Our pulmonologist does not only have experience in that line of work, he is also an intensive care doctor. He has seen the worst of the worst over the years and understands the full gamut of presentation and long term complications. Seizures are a great worry in our world for Logan but no one has truly spoken up and put heavy weight behind the concern that continued seizures would have on Logan. At this appointment, the concern was fully laid out and I certainly heard it.

It is never easy to hear someone tell you they are worried and for them to fully explain the amount of concern they have. I did listen and it was pretty brief but trust me it wasn't a quick comment on the fly, it was made with the intent to spark thought for Joel and I. I am not one that can jump right into a territory I am unfamiliar with and begin a strong line of questioning. I am one that needs some time to chew on concepts, do a little research if needed, and then come back with my line of questions. Since that appointment, I have a boat load of questions and concerns. Thankfully, I feel confident enough in the team around us and with Joel, that I am able to come to an understanding that no matter what, "it is what it is"!

We cannot control everything. We will do our best to provide Logan with a full and happy life. We will do our best to support one another in our marriage and ensure that Lauren is a healthy and well adjusted child among the chaos and confusion. When curve balls are thrown our way, we will duck, jump, plow ahead, or create an invisible shield to allow ourselves to manage the changes we encounter.

Logan is a true angel on this earth. Just holding him and looking in his eyes gets to the soul of who he is as a human being. And that interaction is not only one sided, he looks deep into my soul and touches me in ways no one else can. I feel he does this to everyone that comes into contact with him. His dark brown eyes, long stares, and calm touch transcend much farther then basic human needs. I sit with him and cuddle him into my chest with skin to skin contact and we connect in ways that words can never describe.

So yes, we have some difficult times ahead of us. Logan's brain is degenerating. No one can tell us what this may bring exactly but we are continuously reminded of what we must bring to the table to fulfill Logan and our lives with what is most important. With the warmer days, time outside has become important. Thanks to one of our nurses, we have another seating option for Logan. We have a split level home with an upstairs, two main levels between kitchen and family room, as well as a basement and with the addition of a secondary seating system, we are easily able to include Logan in meal time and time out on the back deck.

As always, thank to those that continue to support us on this journey. There are good and bad days, but truly mostly good days and any check ins's are welcome. I may break down on you when you ask, but please know that I am always willing to share our story. It may not be easy, but it is real!

Maple Maze

Today we had a day off from school. It was warm enough to venture out so Logan, Lauren, Cora, and I went to the Maple Maze. It's at the community center and is a big indoor jungle gym. Of course Lauren was in heaven from the start! We scoped out the place to see what Logan could do. At first it wasn't very promising but then we figured out how to make it work for him. 

He and I sat on a purple dinosaur for a while. He sat there and watched all the kids around him. Then he hung out with a crocodile and we found a fun spinning wheel. It was just enough for him. The other bonus, despite it being loud and busy, he was calm and had zero seizures. He also had a groupie named Charlotte! She was so interested in him and followed around Lauren and played with her. All in all it was a good day!

What's going on

I had a pit in my stomach feeling when I got home tonight. Something just isn't right with Logan. Nothing acute, it feels like the occasional decline in function or loss of skills. Logan has had a really tough time with seizures. They just aren't under control and seem to be worse. With all the med changes it is hard to decipher what is worrisome versus a medication side effect. 

Logan has had a slow heart rate intermittently while sleeping at night. This isn't a big deal as he does not drop his rate low enough to need intervention. What is worrisome is that he does it and drops his oxygen saturation. His nurses do everything they can to get his sats up without oxygen but end up needing it as stimulation and position changes do nothing. He is virtually unresponsive. I have tried my mean nurse tricks to try and get him to wake up with little success. 

I have listened to nurse after nurse voice their concerns and uneasiness with his status. We have a new seizure medication change but that does not relieve the teams worries. I have a call out to palliative care and they want to see Logan.

I hope to hear that he is being overmedicated, but am scared that that is not the case. I pray that we are not seeing a decline in function. I worry that his brain degeneration will at some point mess with his ability to perform daily protective functions. He has already lost the ability to protect his airway thus the trach. I don't want him to lose the drive to deep breathe and oxygenate.

I am a nurse so you would think I know what the next steps in our journey entail but I don't. I have no idea what to expect next. I go off of my gut instinct as a mother and wait to see if his testing and or doctors opinions validate this. It is rare that I completely miss the mark. I hope my mommy warrior gut is wrong right now. He has been doing so well at school and has been so healthy. I pray right now is just a side effect of med changes and seizures and nothing else.

Logan is such a warrior and amazing human being. He never seems phased by the changes. His mom on the other hand is a little worried! Thank you to those who continue to pray and support! It means so much especially during those times of worry and helplessness. 

MRI Results

The MRI results are back. Logan continues to have mild atrophy of the brain. That means his brain continues to shrink. We have been told he has this on previous MRI's. This time they noted that the atrophy has mildly progressed from where it was two years ago. Basically it gives us a reason for Logan to be less interactive, have less movements, and more seizures. 

I am not suprised by these results. I have to let out a little sigh of relief that we didn't hear some major news. This is more like what is expected of Logan's course but I always worry about worse case scenario. Thankfully we were given news that is easier to swallow. 

So we continue on as is. The changes in his seizure medication dose has not made a difference. We are to call next week with an update to his neurologist and may have to change medications at that point. I just want the seizures to be better controlled. It has got to be miserable for Logan. 

I have also tried to connect with the metabolic specialist that saw Logan many many months ago. He was sending off a letter to the NIH to see if they had any ideas about Logan. I called again today looking for an update. Hoping to hear back tomorrow. I am having difficulty getting this doctor to keep me updated. 

...I wrote this blog a couple days ago and hadn't had a chance to send it. Now I feel like saying, "what the hell?" Seriously, I read the post and feel like I am totally sugar coating something that is a big deal. It is a big deal that Logan's brain continues to shrink. That's not normal! I'm trying to play it down so it doesn't bother me so much. It does bother me but this time it doesn't feel as devastating, more frustrating than anything.

I am frustrated because we still do not have a defined diagnosis for Logan. Nothing to say, here is the name and this is what to expect in the future. Instead we are presented a black hole that we are sent down with no end in site. 

I did talk to the metabolic doctor today. He has not heard back from the National Institues of Health. He will try one more time but does not feel optimistic. This time he is going to send all of Logan's records with. During this conversation I finally heard that we may have a diagnosis but can't land on it definitively because there are so few cases. Logan and I (if I remember correctly) have a genetic mutuation that has been found in only a few cases. Because it is so few, the doctor's can't say this is what is causing his symptoms. Those that have this mutation have some similariities to Logan but not as severe and there are some big differences in the cases. 

Well at least the doctor is being open about this and not dancing around it. I finally feel like I am being given some sort of an answer. I have to admit though that it is hard to trust. Logan has been seen by so many people, all with different ideas. My hope would be that the NIH might find his case interesting enough to take a peek at. Maybe there is a doctor in the US that is studying this. I wish I had a magic wand to find out. Ugh!

Other than that, we are in a deep freeze here in Minnesota. Hello WINTER! Logan has been cooped up all week as it is too cold to go out. Poor guy. You should see his hair. It needs a cut desperately. He looks like he fell out of an airplane (as Joel's family would say)! Hopefully warmer weather comes our way and he can get back to school and maybe head to great clips for some boy-scaping! 

Christmas Wrap Up and Happy New Year

Here are a few photos from our low key Christmas Eve and Christmas Day plus the photo from visiting Santa. As of today, all family Christmas celebrations are complete. We spent the holidays with friends and family and had many different celebrations. We are so lucky everyone comes to us to visit. It is just too hard to take Logan out of town. 

Logan had an EEG, MRI, and blood work the week of Christmas. We have results on the EEG and blood work. I hope to hear about the MRI this week. The EEG shows he is having generalized seizures in addition to the tonic-clonic seizures he already has. The generalized seizures are firing from both sides of the brain. We have increased one of his medications. If that doesn't help, we will switch to a new medication. 

The blood work was all normal. They checked his liver, thyroid, ,blood counts, electrolytes and more. So glad to hear everything else is working as it should. I am beyond anxious to hear about the MRI. It is so hard waiting. I will update when I get the results. 

As for 2014... another great year in the books. Logan stayed out of the hospital and out of trouble! He continues to enjoy preschool. This year he stays awake for most of class. He is less interactive but this may be due to medications or the constant seizures he has been having. We had Logan's Make a Wish party last summer. We had such a blast at the party and enjoyed the many friends and family that came from afar. Thanks to Aunt Theresa and the Girls and Uncle Mike and Aunt Jane for coming from such great distances. We look forward to 2015 being another year of thanks for Logan's health and happiness. For all he overcomes day in and day out, he remains a rock star. I can't wait for each and every cuddle session with him this year and to see what new adventures we will come across. 

As for Miss Lauren, she started Kindergarten last fall and loves school. She is a great student. I hope I can say that when she is older too! She is totally into Frozen right now. What a suprise! She completed two levels of swimming and wants to start dance classes. She had a great summer hanging out with her dad and neighborhood friends. Joel took some time off from work for about eight months. He now works at a school as a cook. He has an amazing schedule that works well with our hectic lives. He is the glue that keeps our family together these days. He keeps Lauren in line, makes sure we are fed, and keeps things up around the house. I don't know what I would do without him. Plus he has an amazing work schedule with holiday's, school days, and summer's off. We are so blessed to have the ability to have jobs that work so well with our lives. I continue to work in the Emergency Department as a Supervisor. I love what I do each and every day. The challenges keep me on my toes and the people I work with are THE BEST! 

We have welcomed the new year and are quickly approaching a difficult Anniversary to celebrate. Joel's sister Leah passed away last year January 6th. We miss her so very much. Every family gathering, every holiday, and every milestone come with feeling as though there is something missing. I know Leah is always there with us and looks over all of us but it's so hard not to hear her laugh, see her new haircuts, what makeup she bought at Sephora, and watch her be an amazing mother to Taylor. We are so proud of Taylor and we know that Leah is guiding her every step of the way. Taylor has taken so many changes to her life in stride. She is doing great in school, continues with cheerleading, and continues to enjoy hobbies she and her mother shared. Taylor has her drivers license which brings new independance. It is weird to think she is driving and will soon be graduating from high school. When I joined the Zacher clan, Taylor was in elementary school. Time flies way to fast! 

Welcome 2015! I am excited to see what adventures we will come across. Praying for good health of all familly and friends, strength through good and bad, and lot and lots of laughs and hugs! 

All the best to you and yours,

Rachel