Eye Doctor

Logan had an eye appointment this week, one of his regularly scheduled doctor visits. Since our neurologists appointment didn't go as well as I had hoped, I braced myself before this one. I was sure the news wasn't going to be great.

This eye exam was different than all his previous (Logan has had a handful of them). That day, he would not look at things he had been interested in the past. The exam room is a long room and at the end of it is a TV screen. Probably 20 feet away from where we sit. They turn on the TV during the exam and an animal comes on making all sorts of noises and movements. On this day, Logan did not look nor pay any attention to the noise. They also put boards in front of him that have black and white lines on them and they move them around. He had no interest in this as well.

The eye doctor came in and then did his exam. He said that things had not really changed. He then looked at some of his previous notes on Logan and then began to tell me some things I had yet to hear. At this point I was a little confused. He said Logan's vision is good when looking at objects within a few feet but that he doesn't see well at distance. He said that is why his eyes drift out. I have been told this is called extropia.

So we have seen Logan's eyes drifting intermittently for a long time. This was nothing new. The doctor had said it did not seem concerning and that they would watch it and that surgery to fix this could be an option. At this visit, surgery did not seem a good option. Why you ask, because unfortunately this lack of vision is not due to a physical abnormality of his eyes. It is due to whatever underlying problem is causing his developmental delays. He said his eyes appear very normal. Surgery would probably only temporarily fix the drifting. He says the eyes drift because he is not able to focus on objects at a distance and strengthen his eyes to keep them midline. When looking at objects that are close, he does not drift as he is able to maintain focus.

Today I received a copy in the mail of the ophthalmologist's report. He sent it to the house so our early intervention team could read and determine if they need to change their strategies. His diagnosis for Logan was cortical visual impairment. Basically this is a problem stemming from the brain, not the eye. From the brain, hmmm. Yet another problem we believe stems from the brain but still cannot be seen by modern technology. Why oh why is this problem so elusive?

Where do we go from here? We continue as we have. We keep objects close to him and don't talk to him from across a room and expect for him to see us. We add this to the list of delays in hopes it will help our geneticist find an answer. And lastly, we carry on.

It made me sad to hear yet another problem exists that handicaps him further. I wish we could fix it. I wish surgery would be the option but why would we put him through that for it to not possibly work. I am constantly waging an inner battle to decide how far we should go. For now, Logan's comfort and happiness are at the forefront. We work to maintain his health and continue on as a family, adjusting as we need to.

It sucks. This battle feels up hill both ways! I am upset right now. Upset that life keeps throwing curve balls at Logan. When will he catch a break? When will the doctors have something positive to say. My heart has been heavy. My worries are increasing. Thoughts of the future are difficult to have. What will be his future? I end this post on a less than positive note but these are my true and honest feelings.

Watch for my next post. Happy news...Lauren and Logan have a new cousin!