It’s been a while

It’s been what feels like an eternity since I have blogged. The last post was announcing Logan’s passing. It will be a year this coming May and it’s already April. We have gone through the motions of the first year with many ups and downs. It’s been so far from easy. There are days where the grief slaps you in the face when waking up. Others on the drive to work. Sometimes right in the middle of the day when someone says something or you see something that is a reminder. Other days it is during the end of the day reflecting on something and he comes to mind.

Some of these moments are welcome as they are such a great reminder of such an incredible little boy. Other days it dredges up the really hard times and sometimes what feels like a traumatic experience. There are moments of pain, regret, anger, joy, appreciation and the list goes on. It is this insane roller coaster where you feel like someone else is in control and you are just on for the ride. 

I am still hanging on to the bar on the roller coaster with my belt securely fastened. Some days feeling it tighter than others but I’m still in. I wish daily that Logan was sitting right there next to me. He may not be here but he is here! My boy is still here in my heart and the heart of so many others!